Les Petits Contes

About life's little observations, which matter. About hilarious situations, which illuminate. About stories which offer immense possibilities, open endings, different interpretations and perspectives.

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A nature lover; sun-worshipper, manic book-collector, dessert-devourer and a magnet for hazards

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Death of Possibility

I don't know what started it but these few days, I couldn't help but miss my mother so much. Suddenly I felt the longing to see her again, and to be able to talk to her, and to ask how she has been. And to cook for her - she used to enjoy my fried bee hoon.

Memory and time plays tricks on you. I still remember my friends tried to console me when she died 12 years ago - ''the pain will go after a while, give it time''. But I guess in my case, it is more like, ''absence makes the heart grow fonder''.

I don't think it's the pain of death, or pain of loss, but the realisation that, I can never see her again. These days, it seems not too difficult to track down long lost friends and relatives, or to bump into them at the most unexpected places, in our ever-shrinking world. But with my mum - it's the death of impossibility - impossible to track her down, impossible to bump into her somewhere, and impossible to talk to her, ever again.

This week we commemorate my dad's birthday, and next week, mine. Perhaps, this has made me think of my mum, and realise that hers would be sometime in August. With my hectic schedule, and self-absorption, I know the date in August will come and go, and I might just forget when it comes to the actual day. But then again, I wouldn't be able to celebrate it with her anymore, anyway.

1 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:15:00 PM  

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